Getting Over Someone

Basic question here: how can I tell when I’m over someone and ready to be with someone else?

- C.G., Boston, MA

That is a basic question, but not a simple one. I’m not sure I can even answer it.

Sometimes hearing someone else’s experiences put things in perspective. Here is a situation concerning a person I dated, how I personally view it, and how I make it work for me. Maybe this example will help clear things up a little bit for you too.

In my life, I’ve seen a lot of relationships and been envious of very few. I see a lot of phoniness, relationships of convenience, and people together for all the wrong reasons.

But I knew that my relationship with her was something incredibly, incredibly special. I’d never felt anything like that; it was something totally different than all the rest I’d ever been in. It was comparing apples to oranges, as the saying goes.

In every way, I found her to be the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen. We showed each other our best and our worst and remained together because we believed in each other as individuals and believed in us as a couple.

It’s interesting to think of all the things we are taught and all we are not. People are taught a million things growing up: how to read, how to use a stove without burning their hands, how to fold a towel, how to drive, and so on.

But we’re never taught some of the things that are imperative in relationships; we’re somehow expected to learn them as we go and by trial and error. I, like many others, never learned how to trust someone to give them all of my feelings, so I’d always held something back, which isn’t fair.

I also never learned how to forgive someone that I loved when they hurt me. And I certainly never learned what to do when you find someone who is perfect for you. It sounds like such a great thing, but it can be one of the most overwhelming feelings you ever experience because you want it to work out more than you want anything else in your life.

And sometimes, by the time you start to realize these things, it’s too late to make everything right.

Making her cry was the worst thing I’ve ever done and just thinking about it hurts me more than anything I’ve ever lost, never achieved, failed at, or I could really explain here.

And now she’s gone. We had talked about “forever” but this isn’t the kind of “forever” I thought we meant.

Who we were at the time we made our memories, we’ll always be – that man will always love that woman and that woman will always love him just as much. I still miss so many things about her, namely counting on – and believing in – us.

I still think about her every day and wonder, wonder, and wonder. I made her an enormous part of my life and now that she’s gone, that life as I knew it is too.

The pain is normal. But don’t think that because you feel pain you can’t move on. What happened between the two of you obviously affected you, so the hurting is expected. Truthfully, and unfortunately, it may be felt for a long, long time.

If you think about it, you probably still don’t feel great about the moment you found out you didn’t get that job you really wanted or a pet that died when you were a kid. You may never feel perfectly fine about this situation either.

What I realized, and what you must too, is that you have to move on. They have. They have their own life going, and whether it’s them being alone or them being with someone else – it’s still them being without you.

There is no other option; you can’t stay closed off and emotionally unavailable forever in hopes they will change their mind about you or that it will work out somehow. Knowing when to let go and move forward it is the hard part.

You don’t want to do it when you’re emotionally unavailable, angry at life, or will be anything but the best person you can be to whomever it is you end up with next. I don’t know if you’re there. Maybe you don’t even know if you’re there.

Gambling Addiction Can Ruin You

Everyone in this world wants to make money; easy money is something that involves a hell lot of risk. Gambling is said to be the thing that can make you rich but can also make you bankrupt. When in Vegas people say nothing is better than the gambling casinos in Vegas. A place where a person might come as a pauper and leave with a money but what happens in a reverse scenario, a person that is supposed to be a millionaire might become a beggar. Gambling is a common thing with many people around who spend money on betting, some turn out to be the winners and some loose. A visit to a casino doesn’t mean that it is a bad habit, it is just the testing of ones luck. But a frequent visit to a gambling station would mean that you are addicted to gambling. The legal gambling industry is on an all time high in America. Where you get gambling casinos in your home town, and the Internet that seems to have made the world small.

Gambling can be of various types such as at casinos, card rooms, mobile gambling, Internet and many various types of gambling that people are addicted to. Gambling involves a lot of stake where your money is put to the ultimate test of dragging in along more money but this might not turn out to be the case, and you might find yourself loosing. Your luck is tested and said to turn negative, but it is not that you were unlucky. In fact you were foolish where you kept on loosing even though there were no signs of winning and then you start cursing yourself by saying that you are a person that has all the ill luck in the world. A pathological gambler will find problems such as family ones, debts, suicidal tendencies and many more. In order to triumph over your bad habit of gambling problem you can look for help from a hypnosis session that you can conduct your self.

Gambling is looked upon as an illness that is chronic and progressive but can be treated with timely help. Hypnosis is said to be the solution to your problem as in the past it has treated many addictions such as alcohol, drugs, etc. Gambling is also stated as an addiction. One that is addicted by gambling can get help with hypnosis treatment. A victorious person or a businessman might have nothing left other than debts if he is a constant gambler. If you are a person who is addicted to gambling then you should look for the mp3 download. They are sought after by many people all around the world for its overall success to overcome gambling addiction. Mp3 downloads helps your stressed and anxious mind set free and stop doing wrong things and take in only things that which have positive results. These will calm your nerves and enable you to perceive life with a correct approach. It helps you control and stop your inkling towards gambling.

Dublin: A Nirvana For Folk Music Fans

Dublin is often referred to as the party capital of Europe; full of pubs, clubs and Irishmen extolling the virtues of ‘the craic’. One thing you will find in abundance in the Irish capital is traditional folk music and you certainly won’t have to travel very far around the streets of Dublin to find a place to have a jig and a swig!

Whelan’s in Camden Street, central Dublin is the place to visit for traditional and folk music. This exciting venue has had most of Ireland’s folk talent perform on its stage at some point. Just a stone’s throw away, also in Camden Street, is The Village another vibrant music venue, that’s well worth a visit.

Vicar Street – despite its confusing name – is not a street but a fabulous traditional music venue and can be found in Thomas Street in the heart of Dublin. This prestigious venue opened in 1998 promising to give Dublin a mid-size venue that would ‘punch above its weight’. It presents bands and solo artists that play all types and genres of music including traditional and folk, with big-name Irish bands such as the Dubliners appearing at this venue. Other artists that are slated to appear at Vicar Street include Dara O’Briain, Fionn Regan and Brendan Grace proving that it is living up to its promise to deliver quality acts.

Plus, you’ll find many more places where you can enjoy traditional folk music at most times of day or night. Bars, cafes and hotels in Dublin are all places where you can find Irish Folk Music being performed by eager and talented local musicians. Plus, you’ll be able to enjoy just about any other genre of music in Dublin that takes your fancy, from rock to classical. So, if you are planning to visit Dublin, or just toying with the idea, make sure that you are prepared for ‘the craic’!

And if you are in any doubt as to how much the Irish love their music, take note of the following example. The Irish Post Office has recently started selling a series of stamps that pay tribute to four iconic bands whose roots are based in traditional Irish folk music; The Chieftans, The Dubliners, the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem, and Altan. The bands have been chosen because of the success they have had in taking traditional Irish folk music to the world. The inclusion of Tommy Makem is quite poignant as he recently passed away, and these stamps make a fitting tribute to his life-time contribution to making Irish music popular throughout the United States. They are sure to become collectors’ items, so be sure to pick some up when you visit Dublin.

I Have A Problem Gambling And I Have Lost Everything

To often compulsive gamblers utter the words I am have a problem gambling and now I lost everything. At this point in their life they are finally ready to admit they have a problem gambling. These same people are increasing at an alarming rate.

Only a year ago things seem to be less dramatic then they are right now when it comes to gambling addiction. The accelerated growth in this addiction is paralleled to the growth in the gaming industry. Since a significant number of our population have now been exposed to this gaming industry the negative affects are more apparent. Each and every day we hear a new story about someone who has lost everything due to their gambling addiction and we may now know someone who also has been negatively affected.

Now that we know people are addicted to gambling, what should we do? This is a very difficult question to answer but I believe education and awareness can help those inflicted with this self destructive addiction. Unfortunately gambling addiction also affects all those around the compulsive gambler.

I have received several emails from people who believe their solutions would help decrease the accelerated growth of those addicted to gambling. The following are examples of those emails:

We should outlaw all forms of gambling.

The gamming industry needed rules and regulations that they must adhere to like the alcohol industry.

At the very least remove all ATM machines from gambling establishments especially casinos that have slot machines.

No Check cashing allowed at any gaming establishments

No alcohol should be allowed in casinos

Gambling establishments should not be allowed to use the postal service to send incentives for people to come to their place to gamble. Most people are easy prey. The gambling establishments send a fifty dollar gift certificate knowing the gambler is going to spend a at least ten times that amount.

No large billboard advertising. This industry makes their money by drawing on the innocent only to hook them and take everything they have worked so hard for.

No commercial advertising, donating to charities or sponsoring of the local news.

The above email comments are from those who have suffered directly to the the gaming industry. Remember it is not only the gambler but their family and friends who also have been negatively affected. They are biased and they have a right to be.

Remember these words I have a problem gambling and I have lost everything. because this could be you or your family member. If you even have the slightest notion you have a problem gambling, face it straight on and take the appropriate action. You can recover before you lose everything you have worked so hard for.

If you are have lost everything, you can rebuild your life and move forward. There are so many people who have walked in your shoes. I know this can be very painful, but with each day that passes as you begin your road to recovery you life will get brighter and brighter.

The 7 Steps Of Do-it-yourself Financial Planning

You are in control

You are already your own financial planner. Regardless of the extent of help you receive from professionals, you ultimately are the decision maker and you are responsible for your own finances. Although the financial world has become increasingly complex, it is becoming easier today to do a lot of your own planning. The variety of resources has expanded such as software for money management and planning; online tools for banking, financial planning and investing, and resources, and books and blogs that are easy to understand. These resources may be good news for you if the cost of professional fee only financial planners is out-of-reach to you. Besides the cost of fees, others may avoid planners because they have heard stories of advisors trying to sell a product that didn’t fit their situation. Cost savings and avoiding product pitches are excellent benefits of being your own planner.

Everyone should take a more active role in their financial affairs. Not only does it help with educated decision making and fraud avoidance it also helps you better communicate with your other professional advisors such as your accountant and attorney. You will also find yourself spotting opportunities when they cross your path.

Becoming a better manager of your family’s finances will also help you ‘dig out’ if you are struggling financially. When you consider the low savings rates and the high household debt, many more people find themselves in this category today.

The following are 7 steps to do-it-yourself financial planning:

Step 1: Commit

The first step to financial planning always begins with commitment. Whether you are having financial difficulty, or have just avoided setting goals and mapping out a plan – commitment is the first step. Commitment provides the discipline and focus needed to help sustain you on the path towards your goals.

Step 2: Set Goals

Without specific goals and a plan to achieve them financial success stays a foggy dream. Therefore the second step is to list the dreams that will motivate you. Write down all of the goals you want to achieve in the short and long term. This will serve as the driver, or the fire in the engine giving you the motivation to move forward. Everyone has dreams, but without constant watering and attention dreams will go dormant. Leave your past mistakes and inaction behind you, light a new fire and chart a course forward. You have an enormous amount of potential and talent, and if you have made mistakes you now have more experience and wisdom. Dare to imagine what you could achieve because your best years are ahead of you.

Step 3: Assemble and Organize Information

Get your stuff together. Planning is easier if you assemble everything in one central location. Make an organized filing system either in a cabinet, accordion file, a box, any way that works for you. Now locate and file all of your tax returns, receipts, insurance policies, contracts, wills, mortgages, deeds, titles, pay stubs, employee benefit statements, banking (loan, savings and checking), bills, investment and retirement plan statements and any other important papers.

Step 4: Manage Cash Flow

Your household is a business. You need to know how much you are earning and spending each month. Balance your checkbook and establish a budget. There are dozens of books and software to help with this, and your bank’s website may provide this as well. This will help you know when and where you are overspending.

Step 5: Self Educate

Establish a sound foundational knowledge base about financial matters. Start with books about budgeting and money savings tips, debt, basic insurance and investing. Be sure to include reading about mutual funds and financial planning. Avoid get-rich-quick, real estate, gold or innovative ‘secrets’ books. Stick to the fundamentals. I find the “For Dummies, ‘For Idiots’ and ‘D-Mystified’ book series to be very helpful for many people. Lastly, stay informed about current financial topics by reading financial magazines, newspapers, the business section of papers, and blogs.

Step 6: Create a Written Plan

A written plan serves as a road map towards your financial destination. It helps you understand where you are presently and the steps that you need to take to move forward. A financial plan is a process. Your life will change, therefore you should revisit your financial plan at least once a year to make any updates or to include items in your checklist for completion. You should revisit your financial plan at least once a year to make any updates or to include items in your checklist for completion. If you write your own financial plan, you will have to obtain financial planning software. Your other options are to pay to have a written financial plan completed by a fee financial planner or by an institution or professional that provides products. Be sure to find out about how the planner is compensated and what your fees will be.

Step 7: Engage Professionals

Most people can’t entirely do all of their financial planning by themselves. Assemble a team of trusted professional advisors that you can rely on to help you implement different aspects of your plan, answer your questions and be on the lookout for you. The professionals that can be the most advantageous are a proactive tax accountant and financial advisor with extensive planning, investment and insurance knowledge, an attorney qualified in estate planning, and a banker that can help with credit ratings and debt management. Before committing to anyone, get referrals for trusted professionals from people whose opinion you respect and don’t be afraid to ask challenging questions.

Home Improvement Loans: Enable You To Make Home Improvements

We all wish to bring changes and make some innovations in our homes. But changing your home or experimenting may cost you little extra that might not be feasible for you. Are you dropping the idea just because of this reason? Insufficient funds will not pose any problem because you can entail home improvement loans and fulfill your needs easily.

Home improvement loans can be secured and unsecured. For secured home improvement loans you are required to pledge your property as collateral. As they are secured in nature these loans offer a huge loan amount within a range of 5000-75000 and that too at affordable rates of interest. The repayment term is generally long and varies with the loan amount. The flexible repayment term allows easy loan repayment.

Whereas, if you can not meet the collateral clause then unsecured home improvement loans are a great financial option to depend on. Through unsecured loans you can borrow a huge loan amount within a range of 1000-25000 for a short term of 1-10 years. They carry slightly higher interest rates as they are not secured against anything.

Home improvement loans taken to cover up the repairs or renovation cost of residential property. You can utilize funds for civil work like plumbing or doing up the kitchen or for painting the flat. You can remodel your house or can buy new furniture, bathroom extension or construct one more bedroom. You can easily deal with such expenses by taking up home improvement loans.

If you are having bad credit history, even then you can go for home improvement loans. Poor credit holders facing arrears, defaults, bankruptcy, missed payments and other such bad credit can easily procure these loans for carrying home improvements.

Home improvement loans can be very easily applied through banks and even online. The online application is very convenient as you can apply by completing a simple application form. You can even look around for lower rate deal easily by doing little market research.

Tips And Ideas For Better Home Improvement

The time often comes in your life when it is necessary to attempt a home improvement job. You may have purchased a new house and it needs a little facelift or it could be that niggling house job you keep putting off. Follow some simple rules and the task can become a little easier, even enjoyable.

Always take time to prepare. Have a plan of action in the form of a manual or instruction leaflet and do the necessary preparations for the job. Do not forget to protect or shield any expensive items, furniture and flooring that might get damaged or accidentally stained in the home improvement process.

Always make sure that you have good ventilation when doing any home improvement project especially when using paints and some glues. Use your electrical devices with adequate safety protection and keep your tools away from children. If you plan to do any outside home improvements like varnishing or painting check the weather forecast to make sure it is not going to rain.

Although all the previous suggestions are extremely relevant the most important measure for you to take before starting a job is to make sure you have the right tools, and the best quality of tool you can afford. This suggestion should not be ignored. Reference your manuals to get the necessary tools for the job beforehand.

If you just fancy having a go at a home improvement activity begin with a renovation type job. Take a room, for instance the living room, and see what could be done to enhance the beauty or functionality of the room. It may need wallpapering or you may want to change the floor from carpet to wooden floorboards. The furniture may need to be reupholstered or a stray crack in the wall may need to be filled in. In the kitchen a table may need re-varnishing or a cupboard handle replacing. But a word of warning, if you are unsure ask the advice of a trained contractor. Also when you are deciding what home improvement to do think carefully if the alterations would fit into the theme or color scheme of your house.

After you have attempted some minor renovations and repairs this should give you more confidence to try a bigger project, for instance an outdoor patio or decking job. Remember to plan and prepare your home improvement jobs, use the right tools and give yourself plenty of time to get the job done.

Things To Know About Real Estate Loans

Investing in real estate is quite expensive. Most people cannot afford to buy real estate with cash. With a real estate loan, the dream of your own property can be realized.

Many agencies such as banks, credit unions and lending companies offer real estate loans to those who can avail it. There are certain qualifications in order to qualify for a real estate loan.

Real estate loan is a loan on real estate usually secured by a legal document by which the owner transfers to the lender an interest in the real estate to secure the repayment of a debt or mortgage. There are two classifications of real estate loans: commercial and residential real estate loans.

In order to qualify for any of those two classifications of real estate loans the following are some of the requirements needed:

Commercial real estate loan:

Commercial real estate loan application form and real estate addendum.

Current business financial statements and most recent year tax return.

Guarantor’s current personal financial statement and most recent year personal tax return.

The applicant should sign the application form and the application materials should be submitted to the agency or institution where the applicant wants to apply for a commercial real estate loan.

Residential real estate loan:

Residential real estate loan application form.
Financial statement and most recent year income tax return.
Guarantor’s current personal financial statement and most recent year personal tax return.

In the same way as commercial real estate loans, the application materials for residential real estate loans should be submitted to the agency or institution where the applicant wants to apply for a residential real estate loan.

The materials needed for a real estate loan varies according to the requirements of different agencies and institutions.
Whn applying for a real estate loan, there are certain steps that the applicant should follow.

The following are the simple steps that an applicant should follow in order to hasten the processing of the real estate loan.

Select terms. Mortgage terms affect both interest rate and payment. With large amount of flexibility, lenders allow the applicant to tailor the loan to fit the budget needs.

Research the lender. In order for the applicant to save money, the easiest way to purchase real property in low rates is by finding the lowest costing loan. Research and find lenders who offer low cost loans.

Apply for real estate loan. After finding the right lender, the applicant can now apply for real estate loan accompanied with the requirements.

There are common mistakes when applying for a real estate loan. The following are some of it. To make the right impression and secure the loan, it is important to be aware of these common mistakes.
Not thoroughly researching the options. Thorough research on options should be made.

Not having the ducks in a row. Make sure that all the documentation the lender would expect is at hand and an applicant should be prepared to show why the property makes fiscal sense.

Failing to negotiate the best deal. Negotiation should be done to have the best deal.

Not selecting the best lawyer. Hiring the best lawyer is important. Hire lawyer that is very experienced in negotiating the types of real estates loans.

Going straight to a family lender. It is good to have a rapport with a lender, particularly when loan is needed. However, there are new real estate products offered constantly, ant it is worth the time to check out some of the other possibilities before going straight to favorite lender.

Knowing everything about real estate loans is very important when investing in real estate. Make sure you follow all the steps mentioned above.

Home Theater Furniture Buying Tips

No home theater would be truly complete without home theater furniture. It is usually the last element that homeowners consider in setting up a home theater but having the right pieces of furniture is essential to the entire viewing experience. Below are some pointers on what home theater furniture you will need and how to pick them.

An entertainment stand should be first on your list of home theater furniture. This is very useful for those who have limited space because it provides a single space where you can put your television, sound system and DVD player. If you do have the space, then you can opt for separate cabinets for the stereo or for the television, for instance. However, just make sure to pick out home theater furniture that go well together and that fits with the look of your home.

The next essential home theater furniture that you should consider has to do with seating.
There are so many options when it comes to couches and chairs so you should be able to find one that will suit your taste and that will fit certain requirements such as space, the number of people you want to accommodate and, of course, comfort. An important thing to consider when choosing the seats is whether the room is a dedicated home theater or not, in which case you would need to choose seats or home theater furniture, in general, that will fit the other purpose of the room.

If you are fortunate to have a separate room just for a home theater, then you are free to choose seats much like you would see in regular movie theaters with beverage holders even, only more comfortable. There are loungers with spacious armrests and gliding footrests, too. If your budget allows it, you can consider other home theater furniture aside from cabinets and seating to enhance your home movie watching experience further such as a popcorn machine or a snack bar. These add-ons will surely make your viewing more pleasurable.

Home theaters are growing in popularity and so manufacturers are coming out with so many options for the customer, which also means that prices of home theater furniture have become more affordable. Just remember to shop around compare before making a purchase. Try to survey as many furniture stores as possible, including online stores, so you can compare prices of different home theater furniture and get the best deal.

Juggernaut Or Not: Card Games To Select From

Cards is an ancient pastime that over the ages has only picked up popularity and fans. During childhood simple games such as War are explained and then used as a learning tools for helping totters appreciate the world of numbers. As people grow up they begin to play more complicated games that rely on strategy and skill to determine outcome. I have surveyed some of the more popular ones and compiled a list of the toughest and the easiest to learn.

Snap Your Fingers, Soak Them Up:
1) Full and Complete Attack
Based on simple arithmetic, this game using all the 52 cards (including as many jokers as you wish), is one of the all time favorites of children. Neither does it need any strategy nor does it require any particular skill! Full and Complete Attack is generally the first game that children are taught because it not only improves their numerical skills, but adds enjoyment and action to this process.

2) Liar:
Here, all cards lower than eight are removed from the deck, and then seven cards are dealt. The remainder is placed down and one card is placed face-up. According to that card, the player in turn places cards facing down on top of that card. He has to state what card it is, but he can lie. If someone thinks is has lied, they can challenge him and reveal the card. If the player lied, he has to pick up all the cards, if not the challenger does the honors. The goal is to finish all the cards in your hand.

3) Johnny 5:
Johnny 5 is a little more difficult then the first to games but still is very simple to learn. Each player is dealt 5 cards. The left over cards are placed in the center of the table face down the player to the dealers left the may put down a pair of cards or a r 3 card run of cards. If you do not have any the player must take a card. The object of the game is to get rid of all your cards and to have you last one or 2 cards total 5.

4) Joining the Fray:
One of the more entertaining games (especially for children), it requires basic colour and number combinatory skills only. You have to match numbers such as by collecting all fours and all aces, and then release all your cards onto the game deck. The focus of this game is not that much on winning, but on not losing and that is what adds the extra spice to it. It does not matter who throws his cards down first, but the player who notices it last and his cards are the last to hit the table: loses.

List of Most Difficult Games to Learn
1) Bridge:
An old but still popular game, here, you partner with someone and decide before playing how many hands you will win. The complexity of bridge lies not in the rules, which are relatively easy to pick up, but in the intricate game plans and maneuvers one has to master to play well.

2) Dragon Poker:
Dragon Poker is not totally unlike poker. Any of the different variations of poker can be used as the base for the game, but the general rules are very different. There are no official rules for dragon poker, they must be thought up and written down by the group of people you are playing with, and it is the duty of each player to memorize the rules, if you forget a rule it goes against you and if someone else does not remember a rule that can hurt you, do not worry you do not have to remind them. The best games have the most rules. An example of a rule can be if the date ends in an odd number and the dealer is wearing a shirt that the color of the shits spelling is an even number, then each player must pay the dealer 100 dollars. This rule can only be used once and whoever is the first to call out the rule during their deal gets it.

3) Baccarat:
Just like in poker, you have to study and memorize the value of certain cards such as that tens and face cards (Jack to King including Ace) are zero. In addition, you need to learn specific rules such as that if you get an eight or nine no more cards are dealt. To conclude, this game is not for beginners.